Adoptee Loneliness
This thought provoking question is from a comment left by my friend Sherrie Eldridge:
I would like to pose a question to adult fellow adoptees. I have discovered that beneath the FEAR of abandonment and being forgotten is terrible loneliness. Do you find this true in your lives? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Sherrie Eldridge
www.adoptionjewels.org
Some parents get uneasy when talking about adoptee issues. For parents who have adoptive children, the goal is to prevent these type of issues from occurring. Every adoptee is different. Some adoptees never have any issues, others have very serious ones.
Please send this blog to someone you know who is touched by adoption.
posted by David Michael @ 7:33 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
As I have thought of my own battle with loneliness over the years, I think it may partly from being in my head so much, constantly analyzing the adoption situation. I was adopted as an older child with a sibling group, yet, we never talked about our feelings about being adopted.
Abandonment is a constant fear. With this comes depression, which contributes to loneliness.
IMHO: Depression seems to be the common denominator. I believe adoptees are more prone to depression than the average population. There are some research studies that indicate this.
Thank you for starting this website. As a hopeful adoptive mother to older children, I'm eager to learn all I can. Our agency has assigned us to read and work through Sherry's book "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adopted Parents Knew". I want to help them through their pain, and I'm glad for this resource! I look forward to reading the information in your blog.
Stacy & Michael,
That is exciting about reading Sherrie's book! Blessings as you continue your quest!
Gayla,
Praise God for your adoption experience. What a beautiful story of God's love in action. Thank you for sharing!
Well, I am an adopted child, I really don't know how to feel about it, but what I can tell you is that I'm experimenting too much pain. My two serious relations in my life were with women who abandoned their children. I don't understand why I repeat the same pattern and why I have a very serious fear to be alone. I need help. She already discover a thing that makes my world so bad and when she want's something from me all she has to say is "I'm leaving", and I change. If you have some advise, please help me javier646@gmail.com
Hello. I know this was created in 2005 and it is now 2009 but I would still like to post something.
I was adopted in 1994 when I was only 2 days old.
I have never really thought about adoption until my teens (which is most cases from what I have seen). I do suffer from depression even thought most teen girls do but I am happy except for the fact I am adopted. There isnt a day that goes by that I don't think about it. It likes a scar. My parents are great, but it doesnt make up for it. Theres millions of questions that run trhough my mind like "Why didnt they want me?" "What were they like?" etc. I try very hard not to dwell on it.
I think it makes it hard since I do not know anyone else whos adopted except for one person (but her circumstances dont apply to mine). I do not look down apon adoption. Adoption can be a huge blessing to people.
I am blessed with a great family, a nice house, nice things, etc but somehow I keep thinking "Why cant they be my REAL parents?" I have one older brother who is also adopted and I wish that he was my REAL brother.
I feel like an outsider sometimes. I feel like having real parents is normal, and I dont have real parents.
No one knows how I feel since I cant talk to anyone who has been adopted, hence I dont know anyone who has! I cant talk to my brother about it. He doesnt liek to bring it up. All he says is "My mom was slut and a drinker and a smoker and I dont wanna talk about it."
I ask my Mom what my real mother was like often. My parents met my real mom. I guess my real mom didnt want to give me up until she meant my parents. My mom cared about me, which I am happy about but I still cry and think about it.
I hope someday I will meet my real father and mother.
Thank you.
I understand how you feel! Your feelings are very common to many adoptees. It is interesting that many adoptees could care less about their birth parents and others are obsessed with finding them.
I encourage you to go to adoptionjewels.org and read some of the articles that relate to your identity as an adopted person.
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